In most areas of my life I'm pretty open on the blog. I cry during some workouts, I poop a lot before big races and I tell you all when I quit my big-girl job and break up with my boyfriend of four years.But in the past three months I've been quiet about the single version of healthy ashley. I haven't shown you the boys behind the dinners... and I haven't contributed my opinion to a hot Twitter conversation I began last week. But now, for the sake of being real and open and honest, I'm sharing a part of me I've kept hidden.
In the middle of a 15-mi. run I tweeted:
OPINION: If you're highly physically active, would you date/be with someone who isn't active at all but is everything else you want? Why?
The responses were all over the place and made me challenge my own thought process on the issue.
@RunRettaRun yes! my hubby is active @ his job but beyond that, not @ all. he also smokes. ...keeps it interesting :o)
@torontogirlwest I would! As long as that person was willing to try things with me once in a while....
@SurvivorRunner Um I already am;-) Despite his lack of athlete-ness he highly respects mine, + he is the love of my life.
@dorrybird we've bonded in the midst of awesome physical challenges - rock climbing, cliff jumping, biking, hiking...
@bricklyr: @healthyashley You described my marriage! I'd rather be with a great guy who needs some motivation than a fit jackass.
@RunSleepRinseRp ...a significant lifestyle diff. Hubs is active & it def helps me keep it up when my motivation is down!
@Merrberruns I wouldnt... I did once and our relationship suffered. hardcore.
@jessicabalances yes..i don't think it's a good idea for couples to do every single thing together-exercise time = u time!
@EuniceFood4Fit if they're supportive, maybe..being active is a big part of my life, i'd want some1 i can share that w/
@leannahamill I couldn't do it (I've tried.) Nothing worse than "I don't want to go [insert outdoor activity here]".
@superrsana yes! The make AWESOME pillows when you are sore and tired ;)
@MirandasJeans you could motivate them to make a change. I wasn't active until 2 years ago & my hubby always has been.
@dorrybird don't think I could! I love to spend my time being active and I think the relationship could potentially suffer
@CarrotsNCake My husband and I talk about this all of the time. I probably wouldn't.
@steff_says yes! i don't require that a partner love all of the things i love. ....more than shared interests.
@EvanFMFF Yes because there's more to a person than any one thing.
I surely had my opinions, but I didn't post my own thoughts on the subject. You see, I was dating someone who didn't exercise (and didn't want to). I posted this question in hope that your answers would somehow give me the magical answer.
Could I, healthy ashley... who lives and breathes fitness... stay with someone who didn't share or quite understand that passion? Could I really stop seeing a great guy because of exercise?
Well, yes. And I soon after did. Sure, there was more to the situation, but this difference was the catalyst.
Lance* was harder to end than all the others. He was hysterical, passionate and one heck of a kisser. We had an absolute blast together. And he left a vegan cupcake on my doorstep for an "after-run treat." Seriously, who says goodbye to a cupcake fairiy?!
But he wasn't physically active.
To most people this wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary; but for someone who's ideal day consists of five hours of strenuous activity, this is significant.
Initially I tried to justify the difference. At least he supports me in what I do. Maybe one day we'll go for a bike ride together. It's just exercise.
But then I realized no- it isn't just exercise to me. I live to feel my lungs expand during a run… to feel my fingertips push through the water in the pool… to explore, feel, breathe and take it all in. It's my own approach to life.
Lance didn't understand that. Most people don't understand that. And that's okay. But, in a relationship, I need more.
I committed to not settling in a relationship and so far have held true to that. In all my dating ventures I have been blown away by how many things are important to me and nonexistent in these potential partners.
Now we can add physically active to the list. And so I move on.
So, chime in: If you're highly physically active, would you date/be with someone who isn't active at all but is everything else you want? Why?
*names have been changed